We also know that adolescence is a time when teenagers are in flux about their identity and we don't want to hamper her in any way.
Being an adolescent, when she was dating her boyfriend we had limits in place, one being that he was not allowed in her bedroom.
Recently, my daughter has asked to have her girlfriend over for a sleepover.
14 yr old dating site
We have told her, however that her girlfriend is welcome in our home anytime, and while she's here, they can hang out in her bedroom if they want with the door open, however sleepovers aren't allowed for the reason described.
I've also told her that just as she and her boyfriend would cuddle together on the couch and watch a movie, she and her girlfriend should follow their instincts and be themselves while in our house (ie there is no need to pretend that they are not dating). She feels that we are discriminating against her by not allowing the sleepover, however, I've tried to point out that in essence, if we allowed her girlfriend to sleepover, we would be discriminating against the boys. I think you maybe just have to ask more questions of yourselves to figure it out. I think your approach is correct: dating is dating no matter the gender.
This is further complicated because I also have another teenage daughter who is heterosexual and I would be caught in the middle if I allowed one of their dates to sleepover and not the other ones. Maybe there's a better way to handle this without upsetting my daughter. In handling the other daughter possibly having sleepovers, you should point out that no-one she is sexually attracted to is allowed to stay the night either. You aren't discriminating, you are actually being completely fair. We've allowed supervised visits to her gf's house, since we've met the family and stay in contact with them.
Maybe that should be the rule (that no dates allowed in bedrooms) so you can avoid the gender double standards. Children use any edge they can to get you to bend the rules, this is likely one of those cases. But just today we told our daughter our concerns about setting up a double standard for her younger sister and any potential bf's.
My 14 year old daughter recently broke up with a boy she was dating for 7 months because she fell in love with a girl.
I totally support her as I had a similar experience when I was in my 30's.
My daughter and I have talked and I have told her how much my husband and I support her.
Love is love and it's wonderful to have someone special in your life.
The only danger is for the daughter to start lying and saying that a girl is 'only a friend' in order to get what she wants (the sleepover) putting more distance between parent and child. No boys, no girls, no hermaphrodites, no transexuals, no goats. Stick to your guns, you have life experience on your side. The way in which you're handling your situation is spot on!