, Dolly Parton schooled the Bachelorette, and one of the bachelors copped to having relations … I am officially more excited for the next , Schell), 30 points: The Evelyn-Jennifer beef has been the narrative thread of this entire season. But none of this matters for the moment because the interwebs have blessed us with what may or may not be the cast list for the next season of is setting up a “Battle of the Seasons” format. As long as they give my alcopsychoholics plenty to drink and they argue about everything, it should work itself out.The feud has led to tears (5 points), flying flower pots, purses wielded like billy clubs, and strong accusations of not being “about this life.” As the season winds down, the feud has evolved into something, well, weird.
I am not ashamed of anything that I have done.” Evelyn: “And I don’t really care that you didn’t have sex with Eric for three years, but at the same time don’t bleeping make me look a certain way because I ended up with who I ended up with.” Jennifer: “You do what you do … Why are you worried about mine, like, I don’t care.” Evelyn: “Actually, you’re not, ’cause dude in Vegas you bleeped him with no bleeping condom.” This hurtful televised airing of dirty laundry and emotional unraveling of a 14-year friendship isn’t fun to watch at all. The oddest part is that it all stems from Jennifer questioning the intentions of Evelyn’s fiancé, Chad Ochocinco. I see it as a compromise that is what marriage is about.
” Evelyn: “When those are the same type of mother-bleepers that you still like and that you still bleep with. And you were bleeping three years ago when you were bleeping Eric.” Jennifer: “You do what you gotta do and I’ll do what I gotta do. I mean, who would ever question the commitment and character of a man who changed his name to the Spanish translation of his jersey number and sleeps under a fish tank/headboard? Alessandro ( is about the fact that Emily the Mom is a mom. I think you don’t understand where I’m coming from.” Emily the Mom was not impressed with this display and sent Alessandro packing (20 points).
Seriously, every conversation, every interview, every date always comes back to the fact that Emily is not just looking for a husband but for a father for her daughter. I thought I had seen the last of our new Brazilian pal until they showed a little bonus scene of Alessandro being grilled by Emily the Mom’s goon squad of moms — a scene that shed some light on the life of Alessandro the “Gypsy King”: Mom Squad Member: “Do you like kids? ” Alessandro: “Yeah yeah, back home I had this long relationship with this girl, she’s my cousin. But anyway, she got married last fall but I still thought about her.” Mom Squad Member: “Have you ever cheated on a girl? ” Mom Squad Member: “It was your cousin.” Alessandro: “Yeah.” Mom Squad Member: “Have you ever had a one-night stand?
The bros are forced to bake cookies in aprons, hula-hoop with toddlers, sing with the Muppets, you name it. ” Alessandro: “Yeah.” In my opinion, Alessandro’s commitment to family should be celebrated. I am so bothered by the fact that Alessandro will no longer be part of my week that I have decided to dedicate this week’s GRTFL Top Five to him.
This season essentially is HBO’s if you replace “football” with “parenting” and “likable but hardass Head Coach” with “chick named Emily who looks like Jessica Simpson back when 14-year-old boys used to obsess over Jessica Simpson.” Most of the bros are hip to this act and pretend that they’re regular Mr. Alessandro: “I am willing to take that compromise as part of my life. ” Alessandro: “Compromising me as a dad as the chief in the family.” Emily the Mom: “And … This week’s GRTFL Top Five is the Top Five Most Troubling Aspects of Alessandro’s “Kissing Cousins” Confessions, listed from “my, that is odd” to “we should send this dude to NASA for testing”: , Connor), 20 points: Tony thought that he could work his son as a tool to demonstrate what a caring, sensitive, responsible father he is. So he gets on the phone, does some baby-talking to the little fella, and then breaks down in sobs when he hangs up because he just misses him so much (20 points).
Moms — even though they live in houses with milk crates and refrigerator boxes as furniture. If I wasn’t willing to do this, I wouldn’t be here, honestly.” Emily the Mom: “But what is going to change? Looked good on paper: How he thought Emily the Mom would react: “Wow, you must really love your son Tony.
” Alessandro: “Like I said, the whole compromise thing. This type of emotional connection and dedication to family is exactly what I am looking for here on this journey.
[They always call it a “journey” on this show.] You are exactly the type of man that I have been looking for.
Why don’t we just skip the whole process of narrowing the field, getting engaged, and getting married, and go right to the consummation.
Nothing gets me hot like a caring father.” How Emily the Mom reacted: “You know what?
I’m not picking you anyway so you might as well leave.”, after a good first date Arie says, “Emily has exceeded my expectations by, you know, 1,000 percent.