I’ve noticed that there’s a topic that comes up repeatedly when it comes to talking about dating issues, whether it’s about the problems with being a Nice Guy, online dating, or even just approaching new people: the idea that women hold all of the power in dating.
They are The Choosers, the gatekeepers to the Promised Land, cruel temptresses who taunt men by being attractive and yet unavailable.
Because sex is so much more easily attainable for women – or so the conventional wisdom goes – they have luxury of being able to define the standards which men must meet, wantonly cutting off men who are not rich, tall douchebags with square jaws and fast cars.
It’s a cluster of self-limiting beliefs that holds people back from meeting new and exciting potential partners, whether it’s for sex or for relationships.
This is one of the most pernicious myths about dating out there.
The idea is that because it is supposedly easier for women to find a sexual partner than it is for a man, they are the dominant force, the buyer in a buyer’s market.
Because men supposedly can’t wander into the mythical Bar (and it’s a “a woman can wander into a bar” scenario) and wander out five minutes later with a woman eager to jump his bones, women by default have greater power when it comes to dating.
it just involves being willing to lower your standards to being willing to sleep with who offers or shows an interest.
Women who aren’t conventionally attractive, whose body types differ from the culturally accepted ideal or otherwise don’t meet one’s personal levels of sexiness are out there, hoping to get laid just as much as everybody else The same applies to women.
A woman’s supposed ability to get laid easily or quickly doesn’t correspond with the desirability of the available sex partners.
Men have to compete in order to win her approval while a woman gets to pick and choose who she wants based on whatever arbitrary standards she feels like in the moment.
To start with, there are plenty of women out there who aren’t rolling into a bar and rolling out with a bedmate.
There are many women who struggle to find dates, whether it’s because they’re too tall, too big, too whatever. This complaint translates as “the hot woman I want to fuck but won’t give me the time of day can get sex any time she wants.” Beyond that, the ability to get a sexual partner within a pre-set amount of time or with whatever suitable definition of “ease” might be isn’t exclusive to women.
Men have equal ability to find sexual partners as women do…