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In fact, dozens of New York City metalheads ventured to Brooklyn’s metal Mecca, Saint Vitus, last night (April 10) hoping to find their Iron Maidens and King Diamonds.
Predictions of an outright sausage fest were also rampant on Facebook, and to be honest, I half-expected this to be the inconvenient truth.
When’s the last time you came out of a metal concert unbaptized by the sweat of a thousand dudes?
Despite this norm, the planners did a great job enticing women to take part and split the gender pool straight down the middle between 37 guys and 37 gals. ” There was no way I was infiltrating this thing alone, so I invited a female metalhead friend, Marisa, to join me. Not only did I get a female perspective on Speed Metal Dating, but when Marisa and I eventually had our own speed date, we got to exchange stories.
Us metalheads tend to be awkward in social situations. At the discretion of metalhead comic Dave Hill, each Speed Metal Date lasted for roughly one metal song.
To the beefy tunes of legends like Slayer and High on Fire, ladies stayed put as dudes moved down the line one seat at a time.
Remember your middle school dances where guys and girls would split a room down the middle for fear of mingling with the opposite sex? The room practically exploded with conversation instantly. One by one I was conversing with legitimately interesting people.
I can’t remember the last time I was comfortable talking to alien women, yet I found it easier than an Emmure breakdown to unwind and expose my deeply flawed self! 1 came on my first “date.” A whole group of non metal-loving girls showed up to find romance within the pitch-black confines of Saint Vitus. So after explaining why an Iron Maiden show is better than sex to a gaggle of confused faces, I finally found myself in the presence of metal and horror movie-loving ladies! I traded lighthearted insults with one lovely creature with more facial piercings than Al Jourgensen before moving on to her dreadfully charming British friend.
Do “normal” chicks secretly swoon over metalheads?! About 10 dates in I was running low on Trooper Ale, so I absconded to the bar with my next date; a female comic who had been hitting the sauce since noon.